Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
