I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
