she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
