spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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