New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they need to just BURY HIM!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I currently don't understand fingers.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
