i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Randomize
