If that was your dad, he is hot
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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