tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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