saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
