i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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