He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
