ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
