Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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