What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
