"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
