He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Who died my cat blue again?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
