no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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