Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
