So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You can't just leave with hair like that
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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