Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i dont even know how to be here
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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