Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
