According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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