i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
