we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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