Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
