it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
