Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he fucked my hip out of place.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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