I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
