then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The Olympian is in my bed
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
