what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
