He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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