I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
