I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
