Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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