Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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