She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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