just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize