I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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