Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
