It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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