remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
