You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
