Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
