By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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