You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
