So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
