3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
