he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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