i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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