youre lurking in front of me
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
