You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
