It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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