Please, let me fuck your mom
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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