Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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