margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
they need to just BURY HIM!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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