are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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