the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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