Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
