you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My ATM looks so different sober.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
