i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize