Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
