ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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