Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
