does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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