Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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