I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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