oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize