I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
