i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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