You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
