So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
