All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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