i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
