; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
operation have a gay friend backfired
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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