She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize