You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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