First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
