They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
